SMS Writing Samples

Below are snippets from stories written by Seabury Middle School students.  We’ve been working on writing with more voice, stronger word choice and smoother sentence fluency. Enjoy!

His mustachioed face was an iconic thing. Anyone could easily recognize him from his signature look, especially his prized mustache. His mustache resembled that of two gigantic whiskers stretching off of his face reaching all the way from his upper lip to the bottom of his nose. Although you could not be totally sure of this, because from a distance you would be lucky to even be able to see the tiny round clown like nose that protruded off the exact center of his perfectly round face.

There were two soldiers wearing almost identical armor, the only way to see that they were two different people were their ID numbers, 8-W and 5-S. They wore black-and-red armor, the armor of a Federation soldier. 5-S had a laser rifle, a DL9Z, basically a weak, oversized, pistol. 8-W looked slightly more threatening, he had a torn cape protruding from the back of his shoulder plates, and with his sword on his back, and a pistol at his side, I really didn’t want to fight him.

We were led through legions of Titans all the way to a really big door.  Our escort grumbled the words ‘Oondecka ladigu’, which means  ‘Open door’ in Titanic, and the door slid open with a rumbling noise.  What I saw was amazing.  Hundreds of big, titanium mechs awaited us.

That night I had arrived about one mile away from the communications relay center. Surrounding it was a razor wire fence.  Spinning my two ice axes, I walked forward and touched the cold metal. I realized that part of the fence had rusted and would be an easy port of entry.  Setting my ice axe to the rusted metal, I felt a groan of resistance, then silence.  As I looked at the metal I saw my axe cut cleanly through the wire and I easily pushed some of the metal out of the way to access the complex. As I walked forward I missed a step and fell on the brittle ground.

When we got there all we saw was a person`s phone in the water, nobody was in sight. I felt a chill run down my spine. It felt like someone had injected a dry ice formula into my back. Then I saw it, the animal that the man had called in. When I got closer to the creature I felt an ominous presence the burning sensation in my back exploded with pain, I fell to the ground.

“Smells like trogslime and ale.” Said Bob.“Ugh, it smells like my fathers cooking!” said Michael.“Quiet!” said Crimnox “I think this is a blackmarket.”“How can ye tell?” said Bob.“Um, there’s a giant sign that says “This is the black market, have a nice day!”

The wind gusted past our ears and through our pony tails. We felt like we were going down so slowly, like peaceful feathers from a bird, but in real life, we were falling 115 mph. When we were about 80 feet from the ground, we opened our parachutes. Slowly we stated to fall, like peaceful feathers.

Insects of all sorts were all over the place. Gargantuan spiders were hanging in four foot spider webs; as for the spiders, nearly a foot long. James crept slowly along the path as the spiders shifted eerily in their webs wrapping up a newly captured bug.

He awoke to the bright, hot sun beating down on him. Since he had landed at night, now was the first time he could really see his surroundings. There was little vegetation, with just an occasional shrub or bush all by itself. He was in a valley, that much was certain. Everywhere he looked he saw huge rock faces or ledges. The strangest thing he saw however, was the two jackrabbits staring at him.

The first stage is a fission bomb that releases energy into the second stage, setting it off. The second stage is used as fuel for the bomb. The first stage consists of tritium gas, plutonium, a vacuum chamber, uranium 238, and a high explosive lens (all in order going from the center out). The second stage is restricted data, but it is believed to have a uranium 238 shell, plutonium in the center, and uses lithium-6 deuteride as fuel.

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